7 Estate Planning Myths That Are Costing People Money

The seven estate planning myths that cost people the most: that you're too young, that you don't own enough, that your family knows what you want, that a will avoids probate, that a simple will is enough, that your spouse automatically gets everything, and that planning is too expensive.

In Caring.com's 2025 survey, 76 percent of surveyed U.S. adults didn't report having a will ^[1], and the most common reasons respondents without one gave were not getting around to it and believing they didn't have enough assets to need one ^[1].

These beliefs are understandable. They're also, in most cases, wrong. Here is what each one costs.

Twenty minutes won’t finish your estate plan, but it can start it. Do these in order.

Step 2 matters as much as step 3: beneficiary designations generally control the listed account rather than the will. The complete guide to writing a will explains the common clauses and why you must check your state's signing rules, and the advance directive tool follows your state's execution requirements. Power of attorney, digital accounts, and funeral wishes may need separate decisions and documents.

For some uncomplicated estates, an online will service can produce a valid will when the document is written, signed, and witnessed according to state law. The answer changes with the family, assets, state, and execution requirements.

Get advice from an estate attorney when any of these is true:

• Someone is likely to contest. A blended family, an estranged child, or a disinherited relative can increase dispute risk.
• You want to disinherit a spouse or child. State law may restrict the plan.
• A beneficiary receives means-tested disability benefits. A direct inheritance can affect eligibility. An attorney can evaluate a supplemental needs trust, also called a special needs trust, and other options.
• You own a business, real estate in more than one state, or foreign assets.
• Your estate may owe estate tax. ^[3]

An attorney is also useful when state execution rules are unclear or the will is likely to be challenged. The complete guide to writing a will covers this decision in detail.

Estate planning isn’t a product for rich people. It’s a short set of documents that answers four questions: who gets what you own, who raises your minor children, who manages your money if you can’t, and what medical treatment you want if you can’t speak for yourself. In practice that means a will, up-to-date beneficiary designations on your financial accounts, a durable power of attorney for finances, and an advance directive.

Some people also need a trust. Most don’t. That’s the whole subject. Everything else is detail, and the myths below are what stop people from ever getting to it.

The reality: The younger you are, the more important a will becomes.

If you're young and unmarried, your state's intestacy laws will typically hand your assets to your parents or siblings ^[4]. An unmarried partner, a friend, or a charity isn't in that order. If you have children, a court will appoint a guardian. Not necessarily the person you would have chosen. If you have digital assets, they may be lost entirely.

The argument that you're "too young" to need a will is usually an argument that you're too young to die. That argument isn’t available to the more than 200,000 Americans between 15 and 44 who died in 2023 ^[6].

The reality: A will is about control. The size of your estate has nothing to do with it.

Even if your total assets amount to a used car and a savings account, a will determines who gets them. Without one, state law decides. And state law doesn’t know that you wanted your best friend to have your grandmother's ring, or that you wanted your car to go to your younger sibling, or that you wanted your savings to go to a specific charity.

More importantly, a will names a guardian for minor children. This is the most critical function of a will for parents of young children, and it has nothing to do with the size of your estate.

The reality: What your family knows and what they can legally do are two different things.

Your family may know exactly what you want. But without a legal document, they have no authority to act on that knowledge. A family member who tries to distribute assets according to your stated wishes, without a will, can be legally challenged by any other family member. Including estranged relatives you haven't spoken to in years.

Family disputes over estates are common, expensive, and deeply damaging to relationships. A will doesn't prevent all disputes, but it dramatically reduces the opportunity for them.

The reality: A will triggers probate. It doesn’t avoid it.

Probate is the court-supervised process of validating a will and distributing an estate ^[5]. A will is the document that tells the probate court what to do. Without a will, the court uses state intestacy law instead ^[4]. Either way, the estate goes through probate.

To actually avoid probate, you need different tools: a revocable living trust, beneficiary designations on financial accounts, joint ownership with right of survivorship, or transfer-on-death deeds for real estate ^[2]. Many people are surprised to learn that their carefully drafted will doesn’t protect their family from the probate process.

The reality: For many people, a will alone isn’t enough.

A will covers assets that are in your name alone, without a beneficiary designation. But many significant assets, retirement accounts, life insurance, bank accounts with payable-on-death designations, jointly owned property, pass outside the will entirely. If your beneficiary designations are outdated (an ex-spouse, a deceased parent), the assets go to the wrong person regardless of what your will says.

A complete estate plan includes: a will, updated beneficiary designations on all financial accounts, an advance directive (healthcare proxy and living will), and a durable power of attorney for finances ^[2]. For people with significant assets, minor children, or complex family situations, a trust may also be appropriate. If you haven't written a will yet, the complete guide to writing a will walks you through every step.

The reality: It depends on the state, the assets, and the family situation.

In the nine community property states (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, Wisconsin), property acquired during the marriage is generally community property that belongs to both spouses ^[8]. But even in these states, separate property, assets owned before marriage or received as gifts or inheritance, doesn’t automatically go to the surviving spouse.

In common law states, the surviving spouse's share depends on whether there's a will, whether there are children from a previous relationship, and the specific state's intestacy laws. In some states, a surviving spouse shares the estate with the children instead of taking all of it.

If you're in a same-sex marriage, a domestic partnership, or a long-term relationship that isn’t legally recognized as marriage, the automatic protections are even weaker. A will is essential.

The reality: Basic estate planning is less expensive than most people think. And far less expensive than dying without it.

Online estate planning tools run about $10 to $250, and basic will templates are free ^[7]. Hiring an attorney to draft a will costs $300 to $1,000 or more ^[7]. A full plan, will plus advance directive, power of attorney, and a trust if you need one, costs more than a will alone, and the price depends on your state and how complicated the estate is. Ask for a flat quote before you start.

Probate costs depend on the state, the estate, the assets involved, the work required, and whether anyone contests the administration. Possible costs include court filing fees, appraisals, publication or notice expenses, personal representative compensation, and attorney fees. Ask a local probate court or estate attorney which fees and compensation rules apply instead of relying on one national percentage.

Compare the quoted cost of planning with the likely administration costs and complexity for your specific estate. Planning can also clarify who will act and what should happen, which may reduce uncertainty for the people handling the estate.