When You're the One Dying. What To Do, In Order

You're the one dying.
Here's the order to do it in.

Everything written about death is written for the people left behind. This is written to you. 40 things, grouped by what you can still do while you're doing it, because nobody gets a reliable date and a calendar would be wrong by the second week.

You don't have to do it in order and you don't have to do all of it. Tick what's done, skip what isn't yours, close the tab when you've had enough.

Right After · The first days

The First Week

You don't have to do any of this today. This phase exists so that when you're ready to do something, you know which thing is first.

Get the prognosis in plain numbers, and get it written downSoon

Ask what the illness actually does at the endWhen You Want To

Ask for a palliative care referral now, not laterSoon

Name one person who comes to appointments and holds the fileSoon

Find out whether your job has short-term disability, FMLA, or a payoutSoon

Decide who you are telling, and who tells themWhen You Want To

Do nothing financial for a weekDo First

Two things people wish they'd known sooner.

Hospice is a six-month benefit that most people use for a fraction of that, because they think it means giving up. It doesn't, and you can leave it and come back.

There is money for this. Copays, rent, travel, and a last thing you want to do all have programs behind them, and the only real obstacle is knowing which ones take you.

You're the one dying.Here's the order to do it in.

The First Week

Two things people wish they'd known sooner.

You're the one dying.
Here's the order to do it in.