How to Get Power of Attorney for an Aging Parent

Power of attorney is something your parent gives you, by signing a document that names you as their agent, and they have to have the capacity to sign it: to understand what they’re signing and what they’re letting you do.^[6] If they no longer can, the family may need a court to name a guardian or conservator to manage their money, and state law decides who makes their medical decisions, typically a spouse, a parent or an adult child.^[2][5]

Here’s how it works, step by step, and what to do if it’s already too late to sign.

• A durable power of attorney for finances names someone to make financial decisions when your parent can’t.^[4] “Durable” means it stays valid after your parent loses the ability to make decisions, which is the point for an aging parent.^[1]
• A durable power of attorney for health care names a health care agent, also called a proxy, to make medical decisions when your parent can’t, such as which doctors, treatments and care settings.^[1][4]

Some financial powers of attorney take effect when they’re signed. A springing one lets your parent keep managing their own money as long as they can make sound decisions.^[2] Either way, the Alzheimer’s Association says a power of attorney doesn’t let the agent override your parent’s decisions while your parent still has legal capacity.^[1]

A will is a separate document. The executor it names has no authority while your parent is alive.^[1]

Your parent picks the agent, and the agent should understand the job before saying yes. The Alzheimer’s Association recommends that the agent and your parent talk through what the responsibility involves, and that the document name a successor agent in case the first can’t serve.^[1] How to talk to your parents about end-of-life planning covers how to start.

The person signing a power of attorney has to understand what they’re signing and what they’re authorizing the agent to do.^[6] A person living with dementia keeps the right to make their own decisions as long as they have legal capacity, so a diagnosis alone doesn’t end the chance to sign.^[1]

Once capacity is gone, your parent can’t sign one, and the family may need a court to name a guardian or conservator.^[2][6] The National Institute on Aging tells families of someone with dementia to start these discussions as early as possible.^[5]

If you’re not sure your parent can still sign, talk to an elder law attorney before the signing.

Laws vary from one state to another.^[1] Each state sets its own rules for who signs, whether a notary or witnesses are needed, and which form to use. Use the rules of the state your parent lives in.

MORTL’s free financial power of attorney builder and health care power of attorney builder show the signing rules for your parent’s state, with the official source behind them. Most states provide advance directive forms for health care for free, and people can complete them without a lawyer.^[4]

• Health care documents go to the health care agent, the doctors and the lawyer, with copies stored somewhere safe.^[5]
• The financial power of attorney goes to the banks and other businesses your parent deals with, as soon as you need to act. Give them copies and never give away the original. You can get certified copies.^[3]
• Permission to talk. Your parent can also give doctors, lawyers, insurers and banks permission in advance to talk with you, which may mean signing their forms.^[4]

Some banks refuse a power of attorney and want their own form signed, which is a problem once your parent can’t sign anything. If a business won’t accept your authority, ask for a supervisor, then talk to a lawyer. State law may require it to accept the power of attorney.^[3]

A court can name a guardian or conservator to manage your parent’s money and property if it finds they can’t manage it themselves and there’s no power of attorney in place, and it can give financial and health care decisions to one person or to different people.^[2] Medical decisions may not need a court: when there’s no advance directive, state law names who decides, typically a spouse, a parent or an adult child.^[5]

Guardianship takes time. It involves an attorney and testimony in court, the guardian is supervised by the court, and the rules vary by state.^[1] Lone Star Legal Aid calls it a last resort, for when a person can’t sign a power of attorney or use another option.^[6] The Alzheimer’s Association says any family considering it should talk to an elder care attorney who knows the process in that state.^[1]

An agent is a fiduciary. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau lists four basic duties: act only in your parent’s best interest, manage their money and property carefully, keep their money and property separate from yours, and keep good records.^[3]

Your authority ends if your parent revokes it, and it ends when they die. Tell the bank and the other businesses you dealt with when that happens.^[3] What happens to power of attorney at death covers what comes next.

MORTL’s free builders make a financial power of attorney, a health care power of attorney and a living will, and each one shows the signing rules for your parent’s state with the official source behind them. The planning checklist tracks what’s signed and what isn’t, and your parent’s state guide covers the rest of their state’s rules.